ah, rats. here we go again... or so it seems

A crash is an honest broker. It is harsh yet fair and frank. It neither supports nor opposes. It just is.

Feb 13, 2025

"Be a Goldfish," they say, and there is good reason for that. But I feel I can take some confidence from reviewing the incident on Friday at the 76th Volta Comunitat Valenciana.

A crash is an honest broker. It is harsh yet fair and frank. It neither supports nor opposes. It just is. A crash tells you a lot about yourself. First of my character and second of my mental capacity to deal with the aftermath, whilst also providing a reminder of the state my body is in. This time it confirms to me my number-1 non-negotiable for this winter was to be disciplined when it comes my health—physically and mentally. To have the confirmation that looking after myself has reaped so many rewards through the resilience of a well-looked-after body and mind.

It is not nice to crash. When that thought, 'Ahh shi, here we go again,' comes into my mind I know it’s going to hurt. Looking at my injuries I crashed in the same fashion as I always do. Functionally, and with the utmost spatial awareness to navigate myself out of the nastiest situation. I have the skills, and the speed of thought to process information, which is why this crash was in super slow motion for me. I processed it so quickly I had time to talk to myself three times over:

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

I've got it 
I've got it 
Don't you dare stack it now mate 
Ah, rats he fucked it.

The subconscious mind kicks in: 

Ah well. Tuck the shoulder under, sink the head, keep rolling, keep tumbling. That's it. Brace for the second impact. That's it. Well done. Before I know it I'm walking, scanning myself feeling how I am. Dissipating the pain and speed of the impact over 20 or 30 seconds. Although it may be shorter.

Whilst the initial brunt of the impact did indeed hit deeply within my body, and the instant spasming pain of contracting my bicep meant, in spite of straddling my bike with the hope of continuing, I could not. Such an injury to the joint feels dreadful, they feel as if everything is disconnected, broken. My arm hanging limp, as if my soul has ceased to control it.

However, the Body is beautiful. The inflammatory response is rapid and complete to puff up and protect so the body can figure itself out. 36 hours after the incident I woke up with the startling realisation that it is just a heavy sprain. Nothing more and nothing less than I’ve had on the hockey, rugby or football field. Harking back to the good old days when I could be back on the bike within the week, absorbing such a heavy, high-speed impact, which, as I said at the beginning is quite something.

For me, it has usually been the norm rather than the exception that I come off ok from crashes. Some say I might be lucky to have my body withstand such an impact of nearly 60 km/h with but a couple of burns and some deep bruising. However, I sometimes surprise even myself with the skills I have developed, and which lie under my hood. My skills in bike handling, the spatial awareness to roll well, and somehow, God knows, to end up walking away on my feet (literally. One track league I tumbled off the bike like the gymnast I am, ending up skating on my cleats along the velodrome’s apron to Phil Wright bewilderment), battered and in pain, but hoping I'm gonna regain movement once the initial pump of adrenaline subsides. Unfortunately with the immediate sharp pain of the sprain, it did not arrive and the shoulder only became increasingly tense.

48 hours later, it feels a heap better than the first 24 hours, despite a restless topsy-turvy night. Maybe, just maybe, it's nothing more than a sprain. The ligaments have stretched beyond their normal limit, but have the resilience and the elasticity to withhold that strain and refrain from snapping. I've always bounced, rolled and somehow protected myself in ridiculous places that should in most cases leave a lasting mark. However, when my body is healthy, functioning and fuelled, I can act on the inherent skills possessed in my brain.

It means my recovery time is significantly reduced. To those around me it appears surprising or lucky. But in my mind, it shows the work I've put in. It is the epitome of my preparation meeting opportunity producing the luck that people claim it to be. Now let’s recover, get back on the bike in a matter of days and continue towards my goals and a great season!